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Album

Heaven :x: Hell

Sum 41
2024
3.50

By

Philip Stubbes

GENRE: Pop-Punk, Alternative Rock
LABEL: Rise Records
REVIEWED: April 8, 2024

A DISCOVERIE, OR BRIEFE Summarie of 

Heaven :x: Hell 

The anthologie made songe by Summe 41


Contayning therein, 

a Description of such Not - 

-able Vices and Abuses 


Uerie godly to be read of all true musitions

Made dialogue-wise by Philip Stubbes, gent. 



heavenxhell-1.jpg

Tyrus Maximius saith, the bringing in of musick, was a cup of poyson to all the world. 

Never came there come poyson more foule to infect with stin¦king dregges ouer all the face of the earth than this novell and pestiferous anthologie by Summe fourtie one. 

Of y licentious and bawdy minstrelles 

The minstrelsies of Summe 41 haue longe been a scourge upon the eares of the virtuous and a catalyst for the corruption of yung heds. They are ambassadors from y lake of helle insinuating themselues into the hartes of men. Prayse to God they haue declared this latest compilation of sounds to be their final act of sinne. 

Of their peacock feathers 

It is a world to cōsider the coynesse of Deryck Whibley. His wickednes in words and speeches, his gingerlynes in trippinge on his toes like a yong goat, his demure nicitie and babishness, his fingers decked with gold, silver and precious stones, his wrists with bracelets, his armes bedaubed and dyed with hellish painte. Bizzy D hath corrupted and defaced (like a filthie strumpet) the woorkmanship of GOD in him. 

Whereas the lord hath set inuectiues against ye painting and collouring of mankynd: 

Deus, metuant ne cum dies resurrectionis ve¦nerit, artifex creaturam suam, non recognoscat. 

Those which paint or collour them selues in this world otherwise then GOD hath made them, let them feare least when the day of iudgement commeth, the Lorde wil not know them for his Creatures.

Whosoeuer doo color their faces or their haire with any vnnaturall collour, they begin to prognosticate of what colour they shal be in hel.

Of y vaine title

The title, Heaven :x: Hell, doth apptertaine to the dualitie of ye  afterlife. ye seate & throne of Gods maiesty in parardice & the realme of y deuil that old maligner of mankind. 

I feare ye enfeebl'd minstrels are mooue tempted by the latter than the formar. They wyll fall into the lake of hell to their owne damnation for uer, except they repente.

Of ye filthie rimes, how they allu∣re to pride and naughti∣nesse

"Another day, I've got no convictions
Hard to say when it all will end
And either way, it's to hell with ambitions
Losing faith is the brand-new trend"

These woordes are used to the prophanation of the Lord his sabaoth, to the alluring and inuegling of the People to ydlenes, vnthriftynes, whordome, wantōnes and drunkēnes. 

They are vsed to this end, to maintaine a great sort of ydle Persons, doing nothing, but playing and loytring, hauing their lyuings of the sweat of other Mens browes, much like vnto dronets deuouring ye swéet honie of ye poore labouring bees, than are they exercyses (at no hand) sufferable.

"Burn down this house of liars now I say
You're guilty as sin can be
Wanna watch it all go down in flames
And cheers to the memories
Burn, there's no shadow of a doubt
I blame you all for every goddamn thing
God help us, it's all fucked up and now
The further we go, we wind up in hell."

These woords heare present more holynesse. Ye minstrelles know the wante of virtue in the worlde. As in a mirrour pure they must behold and see their own vices displayed. 

I wold wyshe them to be warned, if they repent not themselues, & amend, it shalbe easier for that Land of Sodoma and Gomorra at the day of iudgement then for them. Hell, destruction, and death euerlasting is the guerdon therof.

Of ye  harmonie & melodie, and how it stireth ye mind 

But Ye worshipfull Zarlino saith proper harmonie (harmonia propria) ... ys a composition or mixture of hygh and lowe soundes, mediated or not [by othir soundes], that striketh the hearing smoothlye. This kynde of harmonie ariseth from the partes of a vocall composition as they proceede in concordaunce from the beginning to the ende, and it hath the powre to induice the mynde to variouse passions. It ariseth not only from consonaunces but also from dissonaunces, for goode musitions in their harmonies exerte euery efforte to make dissonaunces accorde and to be consonaunt with marueilous effecte.

Wee are surprised Summe 41 hath made harmonie of rare and godly sound. It ariseth both from consonaunces and dissonaunces. Harmonia propria delighteth bothe man and beast, reuiueth the spirits, comforteth yhart, and maketh it redyer to serue GOD. 

But mischiefe, and sinne soone creste behinde.

ye noble Boethius saith musicke was in deede chaste and modest when it was perform'd on simpler instruments. But since it hath been squandered in a divers and promiscuous manner, it hath lost its measure of dignitie and vertue; and having almost fallen into a state of disgrace, it preserueth nothing of its ancient splendour.

Summe 41 hath used musicall instruments of such prophane and fiendish intricacie  as to destroy the sweete harmonies. They moue the flesh to lust, and soule to vnclennesse. 

Of ye iudgemente 

My iudgemente: this anthologie is more Helle than Heaven.

To the Reader

Reader, who soeuer thou art, yt hast read these my poore laboures, to admonish thée (least haply yu mightest take my woords otherwise than I meant them) of this one thing: I would not haue thée so, to take mée, as though my speaches tended, to the ouerthrowe and vtter disliking of all kynd of musicke in generall: that is nothing my simple meaning. 

Mine own humble artiste projecte is quite contrarie. Full of  goodnes and incorruptable vertues. May it please your Maiesties at Witchforke, I would sende a demoe. 

Columna gloriae virtus, 

Your Honors to commaund, 

PHILIP Stubbes.